Dear Jacob.

Hello sweet boy,

You are two now baby, TWO! Where has time gone? And where has my little baby gone? What a lovely big boy you are now. So handsome and grown up. So chatty and full of life & laughter. You make my world undeniably chaotic but god I wouldn't change it for the world. Mummy is working again now so I don't get to do bed time as much anymore, I really miss seeing that dodgy post bath comb over and reading you your stories especially How To Hide A Lion! ...but I've noticed a slight difference in our daytimes together, I think we appreciate each other more, we play more and laugh more and sing silly songs & dance! We are not as robotic in a lets just get us through the day mode! Yes, I'll still tell you off for drinking from the dog bowl, and yes after the third time of you going into the fridge and cracking an egg on the floor, I may have been a taaaad on the cross side, BUT I appreciate you so so so much. I'm looking into your pre school baby, how's Little Ealing sound? Leo goes there and we all know how cool & brilliant Leo is?! I have to put you on the register now otherwise we'll miss it.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my self when your at nursery? You'll be having a brilliant time, drawing and playing and meeting lots of new friends, and Mummy will be at work, thinking of you and remembering the beautiful 2/3 years we had on our own, just us two (and brilliant daddy evenings and weekends!)

I love you so much my brilliant, gorgeous boy. You cupped your two little hands in my face and planted a huge smacker on my lips this afternoon, and then afterwards you said I love you mummy. That was one of the most special moments of my life. Thank you for making my life complete Jacob. They say we made you, but actually it's you who's made me.

I want you to keep doing silly impressions, keep dancing like nobodies watching, keep insisting that you wear your dinosaur pants sans nappy, even though your not potty trained yet! And most importantly keep learning and growing because I couldn't be any more prouder of the wonderful person you are!

Love you Doodles xxxxx

Accidents happen.

My gorgeous boy has injured his leg. We went to Let's Play! On Wednesday morning, the indoor soft play centre that we go to at least 3 times a week, there are bouncy castles, slides, great ball pools, it's clean, great staff and sells lovely healthy fresh snacks for the kiddies.

Jacob went on the bouncy castle with his older  cousins Ben and Madison and was having a great time until an older girl of around 5-6 years old decided to push him over, after quite a hard shove Jacob flew and landed on his right leg with quite a bit of force and at an angle. Madison grabbed him and carried him over to me, where I knew instantly this was not the usual rough and tumble incident where he'd be running around again in 3 minutes. He was screaming, and screaming and screaming. He had his arms wrapped tightly round my neck whilst I tried to work out where he was hurt, eventually I worked out that every time I tried to put him down he couldn't walk and was unable to put his right leg on the floor. After a quick nap because he'd exhausted himself crying so much, we went straight to the hospital where he had an X ray and strong painkillers, the X Ray came back showing no obvious breaks or fractures but did show a massive pad of fluid just under his knee, so with the fluid signalling some sort of trauma, they had to go ahead and treat it like a fracture anyway.

My poor baby is now in a plaster cast and getting more and more frustrated by the hour, he's had it on for 2 days now and is struggling massively, as I am too. We are due to go back to the hospital on Monday for another X Ray, providing the results are good, the cast will be removed. I have everything crossed.

We are due to fly home on Thursday, I was starting to pack and get ready, mentally unpacking all of our lovely things that have been in storage for nearly a year! Ready to move into our new house in Ealing (we are West Londoners now daaaahling) I was totally excited.

And now I'm just stressed. And guilty as charged. Why the hell did I let him on that bloody bouncy castle?! I'm normally overbearing my protective, yet the one time I relax and let him go and play!! Grrrrr. 

Anyway I'm just hoping and praying the X ray comes back positive an we can get on with our lives! In the meantime we are bed/house bound watching movies, playing trains, and having day time naps together which I've not done since he was a newborn. 

Get well soon Jakey- Doodles!! 

22 months.

Jacob is almost, in the words of Taylor Swift, twenty twoooooooo..

Flipping hell where is the time going?!! He'll be 2 before you know it, and boy don't I know it (called the terrible twos for a reason) HOWEVER he is bloody funny at the moment, he chats constantly about roo's and cheese, and toast and juice, and dinosaurs. He sings all day long (fave song at the moment 'Waltzing Matilda' thanks Daddy!)

So proud of the little person he is becoming, he's so smart and switched on, it's like he knows something I don't.

Which he probably does. Little bugger.

How far is too far?

Recently I keep stumbling over blog posts or comments in parenting forums that keep referring to a topic that bothers me massively; Uninvited Parenting Advice. Obviously it comes in all shapes and sizes, grandparents, your spouse, your siblings, heck even strangers. What I want to know is when am I allowed to be offended and annoyed and when do I need to learn that it's okay and that I probably need to chill the eff out?
Maybe I'm too sensitive but FOR EXAMPLE if I have given instructions to a family member to please slice Jacob's grapes before giving them to him, that has to be listened to right? Or is it okay to wait until I'm not looking and give them to him whole (because apparently they've never heard of having to slice grapes for a toddler before?!!) FOR EXAMPLE If I've said to not use the massive duvet for him because it swamps him and could they perhaps use the cot sized one, is it okay to come home, check on him and find him with the masssive single size duvet? And of course, FOR EXAMPLE is it repeatedly okay to just undermine/correct everything I say, every opinion I have and to tell me repeatedly that toddlers "Noooormally do it this way or Noooormally do it that way" to the way that Jacob is doing it.
In my opinion, No, it isn't okay....but I'll never say anything. It's well meaning isn't it? They don't mean any harm, they're just trying to help, trying to install their parenting pearls of wisdom on my  own seemingly clueless shit parenting.

And what annoys me the most is when their own child/ren aren't exactly shiny gleaming examples of their parenting skills, why is it okay to question mine?

The truth is, yes these niggles are by people close to me and yes I'm clearly becoming annoyed by it which is why I have written this blog post but I know in my heart they care right? Unless they are just mean which is highly unlikely, I know they are just trying to help, really I do! I just wish people knew that being uJndermined makes you feel small, a bit silly and well a bit useless really. If everyone just learnt to inflict opinions a little nicer with some tact them we all wouldn't be so bloody defensive and pissed off. On some of these parenting forums (*cough babycent...cough*) their are some mothers that seemingly go on there just to have a fight, I shit you not, if they've not made at least one new mother cry then their work is far from done.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I've made heaps of mummy friends thanks to the help of Canberra Mums FB page. I'm off to meet one of them at the playground tomorrow. I feel like I'm going on a bloody blind date!
The first time I ever met a Mum via an FB page (Streatham Mums Network, thank you) I trudged wearily towards Morrisons Cafe with trepidation in case she turned out to be a nutter with a perfect baby who would put my screaming whinging choc- monster to shame,  luckily she was ACE with the most adorable (very smiley but so god damn cute she was forgiven) daughter and we became very good buddies, so here's to hoping!
Wish me luck x

Where is my sleep?

Now, I know what your thinking "Please not another whingy blog post from a parent with self inflicted sleep deprivation!"

Yes, yes it is... But not a whinge as such, more of a plea. Jacob does not sleep very well, well, being the biggest, crappiest, most exhausting understatement in the whole wide world. He laughs in my face at bedtime, bath done, jimjams on, dodgy side parting from combing his hair, book read, milk drank. laughs. HAHAHAAAHA. FUNNY. *NOT*
We have always had a good routine for him, he sleeps relatively well during the day and will nap in his cot or in his pram quite happily if we're out and about, but as soon as night time comes it's like sleep just doesn't enter his brain. Last night he woke from 1.30am until 4am bringing Mike and I to our wits end with exhaustion. Without being dramatic, it is ruining our relationship, it causes us to argue and bicker and snap at each other plus the fact that we never ever get any time alone together because Jacob is always in our bed, this may say more about our relationship than Jacob's behaviour but right now I feel it is the sleep deprivation causing it. I hate the thought of blaming my child for anything, let alone this, so I know that its us, we as his parents that need to own up, take responsibility and tackle this now.
  On a small, unsufficient amount of sleep Jacob is a monster. He screams, yells, kicks, and whinges all         day       long, until I'm on the verge of texting Mike and begging him to come home from work early, just so I can lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine and some earplugs.

I need help and fast, I need a solution because today I have almost reached the end of my limit. We have been in Australia for 3 weeks now and I miss my sisters, my mum and my dog, I'm getting homesick and lonely and I really do not need to be exhausted amongst everything else. Luckily, Mike's parents are going away for 3 weeks very soon so we are going to try and tackle the problem with some controlled crying ish tactics (I will go in to his bedroom, but I will lay him back down, give him back his dummy (which normally gets flung across the room) and then leave) I'm totally aware this is going to be all night screaming for around a week but I'm ready. If Jacob doesnt learn to sleep properly now when will he?

                                                                 Butter wouldnt melt


If anybody has any tips at all I shall forever be in your debt?!

Ps, This homesick lark has been great for the blogs, writing posts almost daily!

A splash of colour!

This beautiful canvas was made by my thirteen year old aussie niece Madison.

All it takes is a blank canvas, 2 packs of crayons, glue gun and a hair dryer! Simple. Beautiful vibrant colours with a grown up twist, perfect for a playroom thats set in a front room or of course, the children's bedroom. I'm making one for Jacob's bedroom tomorrow.

Madison has written a step by step guide to perfecting your own gorgeous crayon canvas;

What you are going to need:
- Blank canvas
- Crayons
- Hot glue gun
- Hair dryer
- plastic tarp

Step 1
Sort out your crayons to the colour pattern that you want. ( I think it looks better if you do it in lightest to darkest. But it is up to you. )

Step 2
With the hot glue gun, glue the crayons onto the canvas, pointy side down. Leave till dry.

Step 3
Put the canvas on the plastic tarp. ( when you start to hair dry the crayons the melted crayon will spray everywhere. I did mine on a big plastic bag in the bath tub. ) Get your hairdryer and hold it facing down 1cm away from the point of the crayon. The crayons will start to spray down, and you just keep doing it until you are happy with the result.

Enjoy

Ear infection.

Tired. Grumpy. Lets all yell at the top of our lungs....

"Hurry the F**K up antibiotics"!!

...or just scream into a pillow.

....and breathe.