How far is too far?

Recently I keep stumbling over blog posts or comments in parenting forums that keep referring to a topic that bothers me massively; Uninvited Parenting Advice. Obviously it comes in all shapes and sizes, grandparents, your spouse, your siblings, heck even strangers. What I want to know is when am I allowed to be offended and annoyed and when do I need to learn that it's okay and that I probably need to chill the eff out?
Maybe I'm too sensitive but FOR EXAMPLE if I have given instructions to a family member to please slice Jacob's grapes before giving them to him, that has to be listened to right? Or is it okay to wait until I'm not looking and give them to him whole (because apparently they've never heard of having to slice grapes for a toddler before?!!) FOR EXAMPLE If I've said to not use the massive duvet for him because it swamps him and could they perhaps use the cot sized one, is it okay to come home, check on him and find him with the masssive single size duvet? And of course, FOR EXAMPLE is it repeatedly okay to just undermine/correct everything I say, every opinion I have and to tell me repeatedly that toddlers "Noooormally do it this way or Noooormally do it that way" to the way that Jacob is doing it.
In my opinion, No, it isn't okay....but I'll never say anything. It's well meaning isn't it? They don't mean any harm, they're just trying to help, trying to install their parenting pearls of wisdom on my  own seemingly clueless shit parenting.

And what annoys me the most is when their own child/ren aren't exactly shiny gleaming examples of their parenting skills, why is it okay to question mine?

The truth is, yes these niggles are by people close to me and yes I'm clearly becoming annoyed by it which is why I have written this blog post but I know in my heart they care right? Unless they are just mean which is highly unlikely, I know they are just trying to help, really I do! I just wish people knew that being uJndermined makes you feel small, a bit silly and well a bit useless really. If everyone just learnt to inflict opinions a little nicer with some tact them we all wouldn't be so bloody defensive and pissed off. On some of these parenting forums (*cough babycent...cough*) their are some mothers that seemingly go on there just to have a fight, I shit you not, if they've not made at least one new mother cry then their work is far from done.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I've made heaps of mummy friends thanks to the help of Canberra Mums FB page. I'm off to meet one of them at the playground tomorrow. I feel like I'm going on a bloody blind date!
The first time I ever met a Mum via an FB page (Streatham Mums Network, thank you) I trudged wearily towards Morrisons Cafe with trepidation in case she turned out to be a nutter with a perfect baby who would put my screaming whinging choc- monster to shame,  luckily she was ACE with the most adorable (very smiley but so god damn cute she was forgiven) daughter and we became very good buddies, so here's to hoping!
Wish me luck x